2021.10.22 01:00 venomkittyfish Hey mom, I'm not feeling good right now
Tw: self harm, depression
I've been depressed all day. Thinking about how much I don't like my body and myself. How ugly I am. I tried fighting it and shoving it down all day but now that I'm home alone, I'm breaking. I want to self harm again. I've started relapsing after over 4 years clean.
My problem has always been that I have no one to talk to about anything. I feel so alone. I don't have many friends, and none of them can handle my depressed thoughts and feelings. I also have extreme abandonment issues. Today, my only two friends didn't talk to me all day because they were both depressed, and I've felt like it's my fault and they're going to leave me all day. That they don't like me anymore.
I keep trying to make new friends but no one can give me what I need. I need comfort. Validation. Warmth. No one in my life besides the only boyfriend I ever had gave me that. But then we broke up, and I'm alone again. I keep telling myself if I was prettier, I could get a new boyfriend and not feel lonely and ugly anymore. I could get that connection and reassurance I desperately crave. But I know I won't.
I don't want to hear anything about loving myself first. I know. These holes and issues I have weren't created because of me - but because my mom never comforts me or says she loves me. Because I had multiple friends bully and emotionally abuse me for years through all of school until I graduated. These thoughts and feelings are so deeply ingrained in me and I feel like I don't even have the capacity to give myself enough love to heal it all. I want to feel like somebody loves me. But I don't.
I have no one to talk to and I feel trapped and alone. I've tried looking for therapists but I've got tons of comorbidities and am a pain in the ass. They all get annoyed and tired of me eventually, usually they argue with me when they get tired of me. Then I feel like the trust is broken and I stop going. I usually know more than they do, and it's hard for them to tell me anything insightful. The really qualified ones are either out of pocket or not accepting new patients. I'm tired of looking and trying only to be rejected again and again.
I just wanted somebody to tell this all to. I don't have anybody else. I am not coping. This loneliness and self hate is too much. I don't want to self harm again so soon after last time but I feel like people only show concern for me if I prove to them that I'm hurting enough to deserve it. That's the only way I feel like I get even a little bit of love and attention. Even if I know it only makes them like me less in the end. Even if it's only temporary, it's better than nothing at all.
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2021.10.22 01:00 LettuceLadTheMighty 2020 F150 keeps starting on its own and sometimes honks, how do I stop this?
2021.10.22 01:00 Boooliv Advice
I have been calling myself aroace for about 2 months now and I realized I was aro while I was in a relationship. I talked to my partner about it and we broke up but we are still really good friends. It’s weird because i still think about our relationship how how I still kinda like him but idk if I could ever get back with him. I like fantasizing about a relationship and cuddling and doing cute stuff but when it comes to me actually doing any of those things I just get weirded out and uncomfortable. I’m sorta just wondering if anyone else has romantic thoughts like this but can’t actually do them. Anything is appreciated. Thanks :)
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2021.10.22 01:00 perochan SEVENTEEN - Attacca (9th Mini Album)
SEVENTEEN - Attacca Release Date: October 22, 2021
Track Lyrics by Composed by Arranged by 01. 소용돌이 (To You) Woozi, Bumzu Woozi, Bumzu, Park Ki Tae (PRISMFILTER) Park Ki Tae (PRISMFILTER) 02. Rock with You Woozi, Bumzu, Vernon, Joshua, Kim In Hyung, Jordan Witzigreuter, Cameron Walker, Tim Tan Woozi, Bumzu, Josh McClelland, Matt Terry, Jordan Witzigreuter, Cameron Walker, Tim Tan 03. Crush Woozi, Bumzu, Vernon, HIGHER BABY, Analise Hoveyda Woozi, Bumzu, Park Seul Gi (20Hz), HIGHER BABY, Analise Hoveyda, Tiyon "TC" Mack, Tesung Kim 04. PANG! (Performance Team) Woozi, Bumzu, Hoshi, Dino Woozi, Bumzu, Poptime, Bir$day (PRISMFILTER), HeyFarmer (PRISMFILTER), Dino Bumzu, Poptime, Bir$day (PRISMFILTER), HeyFarmer (PRISMFILTER) 05. 매일 그대라서 행복하다 (Imperfect Love) (Vocal Team) Woozi, Bumzu Woozi, Bumzu, Park Ki Tae (PRISMFILTER) Woozi, Bumzu, Park Ki Tae (PRISMFILTER), Lee Bum Hoon (PRISMFILTER) 06. 그리워하는 것까지 (I Can't Run Away) (Hiphop Team) S.Coups, Wonwoo, Mingyu, Vernon, Woozi, Bumzu Wonwoo, Mingyu, Woozi, Bumzu, Ohway! (PRISMFILTER), Vernon Bumzu, Ohway! (PRISMFILTER) 07. 2 Minus 1 (Joshua & Vernon) Joshua, Vernon, Bumzu Joshua, Vernon, Woozi, Bumzu, HeyFarmer (PRISMFILTER) Bumzu, HeyFarmer (PRISMFILTER)
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2021.10.22 01:00 erer1243 Currently, it's October 22, 2021 at 12:00AM
2021.10.22 01:00 SkillpTm DJ Snake, BLACKPINK Lisa, Ozuna, Megan Thee Stallion - SG
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2021.10.22 01:00 elevendigits 211022 DJ Snake, Ozuna, Megan Thee Stallion, LISA of BLACKPINK - SG (Official Music Video)
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2021.10.22 01:00 Nextplz06gt Which horror movie genuinely scared you?
2021.10.22 01:00 Iblaka SEVENTEEN - Rock with you
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2021.10.22 01:00 perochan SEVENTEEN - Rock with You
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2021.10.22 01:00 queerjoon SEVENTEEN - Rock With You MV
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2021.10.22 01:00 blink1510 211022 DJ Snake, Ozuna, Megan Thee Stallion, LISA of BLACKPINK - SG (Official Music Video)
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2021.10.22 01:00 Synnics Weapon Handling + Regulus
How much weapon handling is needed to run Regulus;
2021.10.22 00:59 TheFaorano2 Who wins?
2021.10.22 00:59 mjprice83 MUST WATCH: Lawmaker Born in USSR Grills Merrick Garland, ‘The FBI is Starting to Resemble Old KGB’
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2021.10.22 00:59 Myrandaaa69 Should I bring the pink back for halloween
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2021.10.22 00:59 Fit-Response7269 HUGE 2021 HALLOWEEN COSTUME TRY ON HAUL | SIZE 12
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2021.10.22 00:59 zellmerz Last run before bed. Would've preferred a Ber, but I can't complain.
2021.10.22 00:59 Memoww666 Blursed_Pilot
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2021.10.22 00:59 Raffy_The_God457 [Bedrock] I need help about the new 1.18 beta
So basically I update my Mcpe from 1.17 to 1.18 but the problem is I have to transfer my old worlds to the new ones. So I go to the article and did everything it said, but when it finally starts importing it said "World Import Failed" everytime. Any know how to fix it?
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2021.10.22 00:59 Kaelyn_c1 So we're doing a project for Science and I needed a box cutter. I went to the teacher next door and asked if he had one and he said he didn't, so he handed me a pocket knife instead and said "Here you go baby"
2021.10.22 00:59 itsallalittleblurry Sweet Dreams!
2021.10.22 00:59 Anatta-Phi Voices from a Dream that we had: The TRUTH is out of style
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2021.10.22 00:59 ZoobBot 181536
2021.10.22 00:59 Bem-ti-vi I just watched a video where the U.S. coast guard confiscated more than 17,000 lbs of cocaine. In situations like this, what happens to all these drugs?
The video in question
If it's destroyed, then how is it destroyed? And I feel like there would be plenty of corruption in "destroying" it - is that the case?
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